Immediate vacancies – no experience needed

We all know how daring snatch thieves have become in Malaysia. Almost anyone you know would know another person who has been a victim of snatch theft. The situation is so bad that the government is now considering amending the Penal Code to increase the punishment to 14 years plus whipping from just seven years and whipping.

I don’t know when that amendment will come into effect but recently a letter writer had written in one of the local dailies that one way to overcome this crime spree is to ban pillion-riders in motorcycles. He has a point there as I don’t see how a motorist can work on his own to commit the crime – he needs a partner!

In the meantime, below is a forwarded (funny) email which reflects the current snatch-theft ruled world we live in here:

Immediate Vacancies

We are a local thieves gang specializing in snatching handbags in Klang Valley and Johor Bahru. We are seeking money-orientated and result-driven professionals to join our team. Successful candidates can expect excellent money and attractive fringe benefits. We are now seeking highly motivated team players to join our force in our recent expansion.

Snatch Thieves
(Klang Valley and Johor Bahru)

Responsibilities:

* To snatch women handbags on the street.

Requirements:

* Candidate must at least a drug addict, jobless bum, mat rempit or equivalent.
* At least 1 - 2 year(s) of crime experience in Malaysia (other countries may be considered)
* Applicants must be aggressive, daring, outgoing, and adventurous personality.
* Motivated and able to work independently, not necessarily a team player.
* Able to snatch things at fast pace and poses excellent motorcycle driving skills.
* Good command of vulgarity in spoken & written English, Bahasa Melayu, and Chinese dialect would be advantageous.
* Applicants must be willing to work in designated places, travel outstation & possess own transport (motorcycle).
* Applicants can be Malaysian citizens or illegal immigrant; jobless fresh graduates are also welcomed.
* Full-Time positions available.

Apply before 31st December 2006

(Please don't take this ad seriously...)